Jab bhi kisi beautiful ladki ko ladke k
sath
dekhta hu
aksar
Dil pe hath rkh k
khud ko tasalli deta hu
ki
bhai Behan hai
bhai behn hai
Girlfriend texted me, "I have tried my best to make this relationship work but I seem to be the only one trying. So I have decided to break up with you and move on with my life. Can you delete my number and never contact me."?
I replied, "Who's this?"
Husband wife ko English sikha raha
tha.
Wife dopehar me husband se:"dinner lo Ji.
Husband Jahil ye dinner nahi lunch
hai.
Wife:"Jahil tu, Tera baap, Tera Sara khandan,
ye raat ka bacha hua khana hai...
At Desi wedding
Boy 1-"Yaar, Pili wali meri."
Boy2- Acha? Lal wali meri
phir
Boy3- Saale, kuch to sharam
kar Lal wali ke
hi shaadi pe aaye h
Wife: Tumne shaadi se pehle kyon nahin bataya ke tumhari Rani naam ki ek wife pehle se he hai ?
Husband: Maine bataya to tha ki tumhe Rani ki tarah rakhoonga
Santa Ne Aag Bujhane Ke Liye Phook Maari To Uske Piche Se Poo Nikal Gayi,
Phir Phook Mari, Phir Se Poo Nikal Gayi,
Santa Gusse Mein Pichwada Ghumakar Bola: “Le Tu Hi Bujha Le…“
Darwaje Pe Knock Knock Hui
Santa: “Kaun Hai?”
Police: “Police… Darwaza Kholo, Kuch Baat Karni Hai..”
Santa: “Tum Log Kitne Ho?”
Police: “3?
Santa: “Toh Saalo, Apas Mein Baat Karlo Na”
When rajnikant was in school , someone stole his rough book of english
and
now
that book is known as 'OXFORD DICTIONARY'
Dad:- beta Pappu 5 ke baad
kya
aata hai.......?.?
Pappu:- 6,7
Dad:- wah mera beta to
bahot
brilliant hai
Or 6,7 k baad..??
Pappu:- 8,9,10.
Dad:- kya baat hai beta or
uske
baad.........?. ?
Pappu:
Gulam, begum, badshah..
Golu - Aye Papya,Tere Hath Pair Q Kaap Rahe Hai , Aaj Tu Itna Ghabraya Huva Kyu Hai
Pappu - Thoda Confusion Ho Gaya Yaar
frown emoticon
Golu - Kya Confusion Huva ??
confused emoticon
Pappu - Arey Me Jungle Me Tatti Kar Raha Tha,To Muje Ped (tree) Ke Piche Kuch Dikha,Muje Laga Saap (snake) Hai
gasp emoticon
, Par Vo Ped Ki Lakdi Nikali
unsure emoticon
Golu - Sale Fattu Isme Itna Ghabrane Ki Kya Baat Hai
pacman emoticon
Pappu - Lekin Fir Jab Meine Us Saap Ko Marne Ke Liye Jo Lakdi Uthayi Vo Asli Saap Nikala
Boy in a romantic mood -
Aaj mausam kitna suhana hai.
Thandi hawa bhi hai..
Badal bhi hai aasmaan mein..
Baarish bhi hone wali hai.....
Tumhe kya lagta hai???
Girl (gusse mein) - Mujhe lagta hai
aaj meri ijjat khatre mein hai
kaminey
Husband: "Hi Honey, I was driving to
Susan's place along the coast road
and had a sudden puncture. The car
skidded and rolled over. Only a small
tree kept me from sliding over a cliff
and falling 500 feet. I managed to
crawl out of the car only one second
before the tree snapped and the car
fell over the cliff. I am now in
hospital with a broken arm, several
broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and
severe concussion."
Wife: "Who is Susan?"
Tum kisi bhi din school/college miss
kar do
aur next day ,
pehle jisko bhi call karoge kal kya
padhaya gaya
tha ?
kuch homework bhi hai kya ?
wo kamina pakka bolega: bhai, kal to
mai b nhi gya
tha
agree
My Friend was sitting outside a nursing home
Me : Kya hua sab thik to hai?
yaha kyu baitha hai?
Friend : Haa sab thik,
Yaha Wifi ka signal aa ra hai.
If You're a Girl, You Are Probably a
Bhabhi of a Lot of Guys And you
Have No idea about it
Santa apni biwi ke sath
ja raha tha . .
raste me use Banta mila
jis ko Police wale ne
pakda hua tha
Santa:" kya hua.. ??
Banta:" maine apni biwi
ko maar daala.
Santa:" kitni saja hogi.
Banta:" 6 hafte.......
Itna sunte hi santa ne
police wale ki gun cheen
kar
apni biwi ko goli maar
di..
Banta:" abe ye kya kiya
tune pahle puri baat to
sun leta,
6 hafte baad mujhe
fansi ho jayegi...
Teacher Class Mein Bachho Ko Pada Rahi Thhi
Teacher: “Delhi Mein Kutubminaar Hai”
Pappu Piche Wale Bench Pe So Raha Thha, Teacher Ne Ye Dekha Aur Usko Jag Ake Boli
Teacher: “What Did I Say?”
Pappu Hadbadate Hue: “Delhi Mey Kutta Bimar Hai“
That feeling When ur Girlfriend
says... "Pagal ho kya... Tumhe kuch
ho jata to....??"
cry emoticon
And U just reply... "Haan hun na..
bas sirf tere liye ..."
I told my parents-
i want a
blackberry or apple....
they replied..
Ghar me "SINGHADE" pade hai,
pehle wo khtm kr
English Teacher:
Aaj Sabko 'My Best Friend' Par 10 Line Likhni Hai,
Thodi Der Baad 1 Student Ne Uthkar Puchha,
Madam, 'Harami' Ko English Mein Kya Kehte Hai?
Research Says Girls Take Three Days To Judge A Boy Whether She Likes Him
Boys Take Three Seconds,
1 Sec.: “Kya Ladki Hai Yaar”
2 Sec.: “Mast Hai Bhai”
3 Sec.: “Bhai Mujhe Pyar Ho Gaya“
Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko
ek plane mein bithaya gaya.
Fir announce kiya gaya ki
“YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI”
Sab profesrs utar gaye…
Par principal baithe rahe
Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta?
Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa haiYe start hi nahi hoga!!
PAINFUL BUT CUTE..!!
After two years of BreaKup,
Boy saw his GF wid her Husband.
She was rubbing her nose on his shOulder.
Boy (Smiling) :- Aaj bhi Rumaal bhul gayi.. Pagal !!
Engineer Doctor ke paas gaya aur
bola ghar jaane ki kya fees hai..??
Doctor:"300 rupees.
Engineer:"Chale Dr Sahab.. ??
Dr ne bike nikali
engineer aur Dr Ghar pahuch gaye
Dr bola mareez kaha hai.. ??
Engineer:"Mareez koi nahi hai pagal,
taxi wala 500 maang raha tha aur tu300 mai le aaya...
Sir:"Kaunsa Panchhi sabse Tez
udta hai ??
Boy:"Hathi.
Sir:"Nalayak, Tera baap kya karta hai ??
Boy:"Chhota Rajan ke gang me
shooter hai !!Sir:"Shabash, Hathi sahi jawab hai...
Dhamaka Jokes…
Suhaag raat,
Dulhan bed par dulhe ka wait kar rhihai…
Ladka kamre me aa ke dulhan ko bolta hai…
“Jaldi jaldi kapde utaaro, bardaasht nahi ho raha hai”
Sab kuch ho jane k baad . . !!!
Ladka: Jaldi se kapde pehen lo…
Ladki: Ab kis baat ki jaldi hai…?Ladka: Jaldi karo Verna Dulha aa jayega…
Ministers ek Gaon ke Ghar ME jakar ek Aurat se Bole: " Ab hum aa gaye hai, Ab Vikaas Hoga "
Aurat : " Pichli Baar Bhi Tumne Yahi Kaha Tha , Par Munni Hui Thi..
Jab Tak Zinda Hun Post Karta Rahunga,
Aur Jis Din Post Na Kya To Samajhlena,
Agle Din Kardunga,
Maar Do Zalimo,
Nahi Nahi Maar Do,
Abhi To Mujhe GF Bhi Nahi Mili Yar...
Beti: Mein Padosi se Pyar karti hu aur usske saath Bhaag rahi hu !
Baap: Thanks ! Mere Paise aur Time dono bach gaye
Beti: Papa mein to Letter Padh rahi hu,
jo Mummy rakh ke Gayi..!!
Sardar said to doctor:
Poore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray,
when he checked Xray, found fracture in “Ungli”
(SAGAAI K BAAD)
grin emoticon
Boy: oh! Is din ka to me kabse intejar karta tha
Girl: To mai jau?
B: Nahi bilkul nahi
G: Do u luv me?
B: Haan,Karta tha, karta hu aur karta rahunga
G: Kabhi mere sath dhoka karoge?
B: Nahi,Isse achha to me mar jau
G: Will u marry me?
B: Yes, why not
G: Tum muje maroge?
B: Nahi me aisa aadmi nahi hu
G: kya mai tum pe vishvash kar sakti hu?
B: yes
G: Oh dearl!AUR SHADI K BAAD.NICHE SE UPAR PADHO..
Police Wala Apne Bache Se:
Beta: Tumhara Result Acha Nahi Aya Aj Se Tumhara Khelna T.V Dekhna Band.
Bacha: Ye 50 Rs Pakdo Or Is Bat Ko Yahi Daba Do..
Boy-:mai tumhare liye sab kuch chhod dunga
Girl-maa-baap?
Boy -:haan
Girl-: Apne Dost?
Boy-:Han
Girl-Daru or Cigarette??Boy-: Didi ghar jao Apke papa pareshan ho rahe honge....
Jab Koi Ladki Ghar Se Bhag Jane Ki
Dhmki De To
Uske Ma Bap Ko kay karna Chahye..?
Socho?
Usy Ganja Kr Ke Bitha De na chahiya5 Maheeny Tak Bhagny Ka Nam Nahi Legi
Ek Ladka aur ek Ladki ki shaadi hui.
Aap yakeen nahi karoge ke doosrey din hi
Unka Bachaa hua.
khana kharab ho gaya.
Fridge me nahi rakha tha na...
:d
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