Joke Collection April 2016
Jab bhi kisi beautiful ladki ko ladke k
sath
dekhta hu
aksar
Dil pe hath rkh k
khud ko tasalli deta hu
ki
bhai Behan hai
bhai behn hai
Girlfriend texted me, "I have tried my best to make this relationship work but I seem to be the only one trying. So I have decided to break up with you and move on with my life. Can you delete my number and never contact me."?
I replied, "Who's this?"
Husband wife ko English sikha raha
tha.
Wife dopehar me husband se:"dinner lo Ji.
Husband Jahil ye dinner nahi lunch
hai.
Wife:"Jahil tu, Tera baap, Tera Sara khandan,
ye raat ka bacha hua khana hai...
At Desi wedding
Boy 1-"Yaar, Pili wali meri."
Boy2- Acha? Lal wali meri
phir
Boy3- Saale, kuch to sharam
kar Lal wali ke
hi shaadi pe aaye h
Wife: Tumne shaadi se pehle kyon nahin bataya ke tumhari Rani naam ki ek wife pehle se he hai ?
Husband: Maine bataya to tha ki tumhe Rani ki tarah rakhoonga
Santa Ne Aag Bujhane Ke Liye Phook Maari To Uske Piche Se Poo Nikal Gayi,
Phir Phook Mari, Phir Se Poo Nikal Gayi,
Santa Gusse Mein Pichwada Ghumakar Bola: “Le Tu Hi Bujha Le…“
Darwaje Pe Knock Knock Hui
Santa: “Kaun Hai?”
Police: “Police… Darwaza Kholo, Kuch Baat Karni Hai..”
Santa: “Tum Log Kitne Ho?”
Police: “3?
Santa: “Toh Saalo, Apas Mein Baat Karlo Na”
When rajnikant was in school , someone stole his rough book of english
and
now
that book is known as 'OXFORD DICTIONARY'
Dad:- beta Pappu 5 ke baad
kya
aata hai.......?.?
Pappu:- 6,7
Dad:- wah mera beta to
bahot
brilliant hai
Or 6,7 k baad..??
Pappu:- 8,9,10.
Dad:- kya baat hai beta or
uske
baad.........?. ?
Pappu:
Gulam, begum, badshah..
Golu - Aye Papya,Tere Hath Pair Q Kaap Rahe Hai , Aaj Tu Itna Ghabraya Huva Kyu Hai
Pappu - Thoda Confusion Ho Gaya Yaar
frown emoticon
Golu - Kya Confusion Huva ??
confused emoticon
Pappu - Arey Me Jungle Me Tatti Kar Raha Tha,To Muje Ped (tree) Ke Piche Kuch Dikha,Muje Laga Saap (snake) Hai
gasp emoticon
, Par Vo Ped Ki Lakdi Nikali
unsure emoticon
Golu - Sale Fattu Isme Itna Ghabrane Ki Kya Baat Hai
pacman emoticon
Pappu - Lekin Fir Jab Meine Us Saap Ko Marne Ke Liye Jo Lakdi Uthayi Vo Asli Saap Nikala
Boy in a romantic mood -
Aaj mausam kitna suhana hai.
Thandi hawa bhi hai..
Badal bhi hai aasmaan mein..
Baarish bhi hone wali hai.....
Tumhe kya lagta hai???
Girl (gusse mein) - Mujhe lagta hai
aaj meri ijjat khatre mein hai
kaminey
Husband: "Hi Honey, I was driving to
Susan's place along the coast road
and had a sudden puncture. The car
skidded and rolled over. Only a small
tree kept me from sliding over a cliff
and falling 500 feet. I managed to
crawl out of the car only one second
before the tree snapped and the car
fell over the cliff. I am now in
hospital with a broken arm, several
broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and
severe concussion."
Wife: "Who is Susan?"
Tum kisi bhi din school/college miss
kar do
aur next day ,
pehle jisko bhi call karoge kal kya
padhaya gaya
tha ?
kuch homework bhi hai kya ?
wo kamina pakka bolega: bhai, kal to
mai b nhi gya
tha
agree
My Friend was sitting outside a nursing home
Me : Kya hua sab thik to hai?
yaha kyu baitha hai?
Friend : Haa sab thik,
Yaha Wifi ka signal aa ra hai.